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It's like comparing apples and sausages.
Orlando Bloom was photographed ditching his trunks this week and bared it all, reminding fans of the time when his romantic rival, Justin Bieber, also showed a little too much on camera.
The two men — who have been linked in the past for feuding over the same women, Bloom's ex-wife Miranda Kerr and Bieber's ex Selena Gomez — now have something else to bond over.
Bloom was spotted vacationing on an Italian beach on Tuesday, where he was photographed paddleboarding wearing absolutely nothing — except for a baseball hat. Back in October 2015, the Biebs was snapped alongside model Jayde Price on his own beach vacation showing off his package.
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So who wore the black bar better?
On the view:
It looks like each of the stars has a big advantage below the waist — despite what must have been cold water.
The two heartthrobs also proudly boasted six-packs and firm backsides on their tropical trips.
Advantage: It's a draw
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On their co-stars:
Jayde Pierce, who? The model who accompanied the "Sorry" singer at his waterfront villa boasts nowhere near the star power of Bloom's girlfriend, pop star Katy Perry.
It looks like Orlando scored big by having the "Fireworks" singer accompanying him on his naked excursions.
Advantage: Orlando Bloom.
On their extracurricular activities:
The “Pirates of the Caribbean” star showed off his nautical skills and managed to look only slightly ridiculous paddling Perry on a board. Bieber, meanwhile, barely stepped out of his luxurious cabin.
Advantage: Orlando Bloom.
Bieber was rumored to have been wooing Bloom’s then wife, Miranda Kerr, at the 2012 Victoria Secret Fashion Show.
(CBS)
On tattoos:
Bieber has more ink on his chest than a NASCAR car does on its hood. But Bloom sports a tasteful sun on his stomach that helps the star shine.
Advantage: Orlando Bloom
On their families' reaction:
Bloom's family has yet to comment on the Aussie's privates being made public. However, Bieber's dad had a lot to say about his not-so-little boy.
"What do you feed that thing! #prouddaddy," his father Jeremy wrote when pictures of his son's anatomy surfaced.
He followed the tweet with another cringe-worthy post that said "he's a beaut" along with a picture of a dog.
Advantage: We all lose after seeing Papa Bieber's words.
Winner: Bloom